By Geert Kalen
The best way to achieve lasting family stability is through marriage. Many parents, especially divorced ones, think that it is best to have a second or third child so that they can “catch up” and finish off their family. This is not only emotionally stressful but it is detrimental to the stability of the family. Marriage brings families closer because one parent stays home with the children while the other parent works outside the home and cares for the children full time. This balance is what builds long-lasting marriages and it is important to remember that when we speak of stability, we are talking about emotional and mental stability, not physical.
Another misconception many divorced or separated couples have is that having children of their own would make them less of a husband or a wife. In fact, studies show that married couples who have same-sex partners tend to have higher rates of mental and physical stress than those who are straight. Stress could be one of the common signs of adrenal fatigue, so consider discussing this with a medical professional. Studies also indicate that these couples are more likely to experience depression. It has also been proven that people of the same sex are more likely to commit violence towards each other and to use illegal drugs. This is because these people have to feel emotionally secure in order to work and these are the people that society views as being masculine. They see married couples as the norm and this causes them to place their needs ahead of the needs of their partners.
When two people decide to marry, they often make the choice to do so because of societal pressures. These pressures cause many to feel like it is a requirement to raise children. Not all marriages make it through this tough time, however. Many times, it is the unintended consequences of the decisions being made that drive couples further apart. These unintended consequences include diminished intimacy, lower self esteem, greater financial strain, less bonding with each other and lessening the chance that your children will have an equally successful life.
After marriage, couples typically remain in the same-sex relationship for the duration of their lives. However, this isn’t always the case. There are many cases where a spouse decides to enter a different-sex relationship. This can be a result of coming from a different culture, being drawn to the same gender, or even just being comfortable with someone outside of the gender they were born. While not always possible, two people who are in these relationships can have children.
The first step that any married couple should take is to talk honestly with one another about what the future might hold. It is imperative that both partners remain open and honest with one another about what they envision for the future. In most cases, this is going to be a change of heart, but it can be a difficult time. A spouse can begin by telling the other partner their desire to save the marriage, their willingness to do whatever it takes, and that they are willing to make changes in order to make the marriage work. This is a great way to get the conversation started, but it must be continued throughout the years to come.
Cohabitation is a great alternative for married couples. If you are having difficulty deciding whether or not you should try cohabitation or perhaps entering into an official marriage, you should speak with an unmarried partner. They can give you the opinion you need as well as offer a wealth of experience and advice on how to maintain a long and happy marriage. While divorce is a possibility, it should never be looked upon as the only option out there, especially for those who want to raise children together.
